ow often have you started a presentation, found it going well, only to find that you’ve “unsold” the deal? All of a sudden, the other person’s eyes glazed over, they start fidgeting and their body language completely changed.
It appears they couldn’t wait to get away from you. Maybe you’ve given a good overview and they look at you as if you’re keeping something back.
Remember, people only do business with those they like and trust, and without rapport, neither of these are possible without knowing how each person prefers to be spoken to. All those hours of preparation and hard work could go straight down the drain, taking the deal with it. You have one chance and one chance only to make a first impression.
Everyone is different. Some people just want the big picture, while others need loads more information and to analyse more facts. And between those two extremes there is a wide range of styles. It’s obvious that if you treat everyone the same, you’ll miss a lot of deals. So how do you know what to put into your presentation? How much information should you give? The answer is in the eyelids; in how exposed or concealed they are.
Look for the epithelial fold, the fold of skin between the eyelash and the eyebrows and see how close it is to the eyelash. In some cases, the fold is well away from the eyelash as in example 1. We call these exposed eyelids. At the other end of the spectrum – the epithelial fold totally conceals the eyelid as in example 2. These are the born analysers.
Give me the Big Picture
The greater the gap or the absence of a fold the more the person just wants the big picture. Excessive detail just turns them off. They are less inclined to analyze situations or information.
This doesn’t mean they don’t analyze things at all. They just prefer you to get to the bottom line and will make decisions with less information than those who need to analyse. By nature, they are decisive, action driven and focus outwardly on what needs to be done. They have an understanding of what is being said and they like to act on it right away.
Be aware that they don’t need all of the information up front to make a decision. If necessary, they will go back later to check for any additional details. Be aware that they are likely to cut you off in the midst of your conversation or finish your sentences for you if you are more the analytical type.
You may feel they aren’t interested in what you have to say, but this could be that you’ve opened with the wrong approach and they just want to get things moving alone.
This trait can be a concern when you have a lot of information that you have to cover. If this is the case, pre-frame the conversation saying how you’ll give an overview and allow them to ask questions. Point out though, that there is some information you have to cover at the appropriate time. Handled right, the pre-frame will get their approval and you can use this to slow them down if necessary. Combined with some other traits, they could miss vital information as they try to push ahead too quickly. In these cases, the pre-frame is vital.
The more concealed the eyelids are, the more the person will analyse everything that is presented to them. They focus inwardly on what they feel about a situation and they need more information to understand how and why things work. Without a suitable level of information they won’t be comfortable. This makes them reluctant to make decisions until their questions have been completely satisfied. It’s in your interest to take the time to do so.
Always start with yourself
In understanding and recognizing other people, first start with yourself. Check out where you fit. Are you big picture or are you the analyst? Or do you fit somewhere in between? Knowing where you fit will let you know how you come across to others. It will also tell you how much you need to change your preferred way of communicating when talking to different people. If you are in the middle, you’d be wise to lean towards the bigger picture with those with more exposed eyelids than yourself. And go into more detail than you’d prefer when dealing with those with concealed eyelids.
If you have exposed eyelids, don’t rush those with concealed eyelids or push for the sale. You’ll lose them if you do. You’ll come across as untrustworthy or that you are hiding information that they need. They will often seem slow in making decisions, but there is a lot going on in their heads. Take your time with them and make sure you’ve answered all of their questions fully.
If the other person has a combination of both; partially exposed and partially concealed, which you’ll find quite often, then start with the big picture and be ready with more information. Remember, it’s all in the pre-framing. Let these people know you have more information and they can ask all of the questions they like once you’ve finished. If yours are exposed, pre-frame with those who are concealed that have a lot of detail, but first you want to give an overview and then go into more detail. This pre-frame is necessary otherwise the analyst will keep dragging you back to different points.
If the person is similar to you then just be yourself and talk as you normally would. These will be the people you naturally get along with. But it is the other people that you’ll make most of your money with, so they are worth the effort to get to understand.
You’ll find more details on how to read and speak to these and other traits in the mobile Apps, ProfileMe and ProfileMatch.
Alan Stevens is known as the Celebrity Profiler and a Leading International Personality and Business Profiler. He has been featured on National TV profiling the likes of our leading politicians, TV and sports stars as well as Britain’s Royalty.
Alan works with Businesses, Health Professionals, Teachers, Coaches and Parents, all with a unique form of Rapid Trait Profiling.
You can contact Alan through his web site www.alanstevens.com.au or find all of his details by scanning the QR Code
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