How to win a race without the finish line?
There is never a right moment to stop being busy.
There is always another house to buy, another meeting to attend, a business trip to plan, kids’ schools to choose, decision to be made, goods to buy and money to be earned.
Therefore, it indeed seems to be no finish line in this race unless consciously minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, we make a deliberate effort to break the viciousness of the circle.
Facing the Truth
Busyness is an addiction which robes one’s life and those next to them. Like any other addiction thrives on the assumption that we just can’t stop doing it. It comes with a high price tag for the “victim” him/herself as well as for their prey.
Busyness – either perceived as a necessity or a conscious choice – does not ask for permission to enter – and walks over those who are just innocent bystanders.
Although the list of “good” excuses is endless and sounds legit, it does not prevent “the busyness” from sneaking in and taking away every tad of intimacy impacting most valuable relationship dynamics. So before you know it, you eat dinners with strangers you have never met, go to bed with people whose names you don’t even know and travel with crowds who are not even your followers.
You never seem to be alone although you seem to be very lonely…
Busyness as a Cultural Badge of Honor
Busy used to be “sexy.”
It implied being successful and influential. It meant the fulfillment of worthiness and neediness and masking existence full of doubt and not being good enough.
It used to bring validation through having a series of never-ending to-do lists.
It served as a distraction from observing the life pass by in front of our eyes and by avoiding admitting we were playing the role of a mere spectator.
“Busyness” – a highly addictive drug, is causing overdose effects like delusions and detachment from reality, along with a denial of all that brings us discomfort.
Sadly, the very things we take the “busy” pill for, happen to have the most of value in life.
Thankfully, there is a shift occurring in collective awareness, and:
Busyness is not a virtue anymore as it is contributing to alarmingly high rates of mental burnout, overwork and sleep deprivation.
Being busy is no longer a measurement of success.
Being busy does not equal productivity. It essentially shields us from taking significant yet very uncomfortable actions.
Being busy is not the same as being effective.
Being busy actually restricts professional performance and limits mental capacity jeopardizing decision-making processes and letting our impulses loose.
Being busy seldom helps us feel fulfilled – contrary to conventional wisdom.
Although intermittent busyness is usual and expected as we move through the various stages of our lives, our compulsion to keep and stay busy is a manifestation of retribution against emptiness, and it seems the pain of admitting it is higher than the cost of living a frantic life.
Meaningless existence defined by the frame of scheduled meetings, calls, and other activities, repetition of self-imposed obligations driven by our ambitions and anxieties makes us avoid reality for what it truly is.
Yet what becomes visible in the silence and busy-less life, is the very thing worth looking at:
• The lack of self-confidence in our abilities.
• Endless need for external gratification.
• The fear of realization that most of what we do does not matter and does not bring satisfaction.
• Incapability to sufficiently “manage” life by redirecting our attention from intrinsic values to a third-party endorsement of importance and worthiness.
• Our ‘needy greedy’ identity which drives to us to live beyond our means and to prioritize incorrectly.
• Being uncomfortable with ourselves and the reality of our lives.
How to make a shift from Busyness to Busy-less?
How many meaningful conversations have you skipped because you were checking your email for the twentieth time that day?
When was the last time took a deep breath to stop the spin of constant activity?
How many precious moments have you missed because you feared what might come up during the silence?
How many dinners did you attend being totally not present?
If you answered those questions honestly, it might be a good time to push the pause button and ask yourself what are you running away from?
Being busy-less is a practice, and it is not about giving up, quitting, neglecting or not working at all. “Busy-less” is about finding meaning outside of your job and facing the “dragons you are trying to kill.” It’s about freeing yourself up from the oppression and start making mindful choices to attain other tentacles of life like family, friends, and self-development.
Busy – less is about redefining success – from having – to becoming and creating the life you are proud of by discovering what else is genuinely important to you and is worth having while honoring your highest values.
Believe in yourself. Check-in with yourself often.
Take a detox day. Disconnect. Everything seems to be working better if you unplug it just for a moment. The same applies to you.
Listen to the silence – it has a lot to say.
• Don’t kill your dragons – train them.
• Become comfortable with being uncomfortable by working through it.
• Exchange stimulation for satisfaction.
• Don’t waste your time on comparing yourself with others. Sometimes you are ahead sometimes you are behind. The race is long but at the end it is truly only with yourself.
Busyness does not define you – it reveals you. ~ Kasia Jamroz
Disclaimer: This article makes an inquiry into busyness for the sake of it and its obvious implications. It does not diminish the merits of hard working and being productive or effective.
Kasia Jamroz, CPCC, ACC, is a Conscious Leadership and Life Coach, Personal / Organizational Transformation Advocate, Trainer, and Neuro Change Solutions Facilitator trained by Dr. Joe Dispenza. Founder of Conscious Leading Solutions L.L.C, and 50 Deeds of Love Non – Profit Organization, Kasia believes in irresistible power of choice, self – awareness and living life congruent with our highest values.
Kasia assists people in reaching their maximum potential and creating sustainable results by breaking the limits of the habit, self – reflection, commitment and consistency.
Kasia has facilitated an array of successful personal and leadership workshops, and training. She is a contributor to Thrive Global and Forbes. According to Kasia “it is never too late to have a life you always wanted by changing your mind.”
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