Destination Edition, Life Destination YOU
By: • 3 years ago •
When we think of the word ‘destination’, we rarely assume that it personifies the present, let alone a person. Most of the time we associate the term with reaching something in the future; a journey to an imminent goal.
As coaches, it’s our job to mold and shape someone’s potential into a new reality for them. We learn to not only free them of the past but also guide them towards a better future that represents the version or existence they want to ideally achieve.
We help them unlock their capacity and reach their ultimate destination: the best version of themselves.
Yet somewhere along the way, in between dealing with past baggage and forthcoming ambitions, we lose the power of the present and what it actually signifies.
We teach them that the past is something to let go of, whilst the future is the prize to run towards, simply because it represents confirmation of the transformation they yearn for.
And yet, through the somewhat confronting process of being transformed by their coaches, our clients seem to only endure the present instead of learning to thrive in it.
It becomes a battlefield where struggles are turned into strengths and problems into solutions. A process that can cause both pain and elation; but viewed only as a pit stop along the way.
When Eckhart Tolle’s book The Power Of Now was published, it brought about a thought that had seeped into the unconscious part of our brain, back to light again. The thought that we have only today and that the present is also a destination.
However, because the present itself is forever coming and going, the ‘present’ destination does not so much become a description of time or a place, but rather about the relationship you have with yourself.
As a dating and relationship coach who educates both public and coaches, I often see the struggle of people coming to terms of learning to love themselves for where they are at, whilst heading towards where they want to be.
The truth is, our clients will never be able to reach their full level of ultimate success and happiness if they have not also learnt to accept themselves through the journey each and every day.
It’s assumed that the future version of them is what will bring them fulfilment, when in reality, it’s the relationship they have with themselves that will determine their success.
The way in which they love and value themselves is the basis from which they make all their decisions. Their decisions are what shapes their life and controls their progress.
We can set our clients goals and practical strategies that aim to give them a step by step guide to building a better outlook, but if they have not learnt to embrace who they are in the present or acknowledge who they were in the past, then they have no reference of who they can be in the future.
We live in a fast-paced disposable society with evolving technology designed to make our life easier. Therefore, we assume that if we aren’t progressing at the rate that represents less effort, then we think we are failing.
It’s hard not to become future-focused with our clients, when we ourselves are leaders who are driven by growth and progression. As coaches, we know the importance of tapping into our potential and can be disillusioned as to the level of significance of who we are in the present.
Coaches and thought leaders have become used to obtaining future destinations so quickly that they can lose touch with what a destination should actually represent.
‘Destination’ should not be limited by someone’s level of progression, time or place, but rather, be seen as a feeling that characterises a person being at peace within themselves at any point of time.
The truth is, we never fully arrive. There is something always better and bigger to achieve after we have reached the things we were working towards. When our clients have reached one level of achievement, they already have a thirst for expanding their capacity even further, simply because they now understand how a changed mentality can change their level of life lived.
So, a new goal is created, a new destination, a higher level of possibilities to aim towards. And it’s almost as if the succession of completing their first objective has already cast it into the shadow of what the new target can now be.
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