Business, Engagement Edition How becoming a coach changed my life
By: Glen Murdoch • 4 years ago •
Do you remember that first moment when you discovered this whole concept of coaching or personal development? I do! I was sitting in a hotel room watching an Oprah episode about “The Secret”. I was blown away by the way they were talking about the world, my world, that for the first time seemed to make sense. I ran straight out and bought The Secret and read it cover to cover. I then started Googling(Don’t you just LOVE Google!) and I found my first mentors: Robbins, Rohn, Hill, Nightingale, Tolle and Jeffers, which started me on a life-long journey of change.
My aim was simple: I wanted to change the world one person at a time! What I didn’t know at the start was that I was the person who had to change first. I had never been brave enough to admit that I was holding on to some events in my past that had shaped pretty well every outcome I’d had up until then. My great friend and PD colleague, Pip Mckay, has always said that to move forward we must heal the past, and man did I have some past to heal!
Over the course of my life I have had an abusive childhood and so lost my Dad after he left in my early teens, lost my mum at 18, was the fattest kid in school (I can tell you the words to the fat Albert song word perfect!), lost 40 kilograms and developed anorexia nervosa (no longer that fattest kid in school!), created for myself a disease called Bulimia Nervosa (which I had for 20 years… oh the money I wasted!), was homeless and lived in my Toyota Corolla whilst at university, became a chronic binge drinker, replaced that with drug-fuelled weekends where sleep was non-existent Friday to Monday, attempted suicide twice (the second time in a Dubai prison cell, but that’s a story for another time) and lost almost every cent I earned gambling at Crown casino. I own all of this stuff now and look back fondly at the challenges – but it wasn’t always like this.
I was living a life without any real meaning and I found it almost impossible to build lasting relationships because most of the stuff I was doing was super destructive. I had met and fallen madly in love with a girl called Beth but I was screwing it up. Nothing I was doing was helping me to have the relationship that I know she deserved and that I really wanted until I watched that episode of Oprah and discovered coaching. The timing was perfect because I needed to change, I needed an avenue to change, and it was wrapped up as me changing the lives of others, so my ego didn’t know what was coming!
I’ve never been a “one glove fits all” kind of coach and even now with my school, The Life Coaching College, I’m not really attached to how our guys get outcomes. But I will share the one thing that started the life change for me. It’s so little and seems so trivial, but for me it really was everything.
Have you ever known anyone that taps their fingers all the time? I was a finger tapper, perhaps not so much a tapper as a whole-hand- one-finger- at-a- time mover. I remember one night Beth said to me, “Why do you do that?” I hadn’t realised that I was constantly tapping away but told her it was actually me thinking. Each tap was a word and I was talking to myself. Her next question terrified me. She asked, “What are you saying to yourself?” I didn’t answer straight away because I had to fumble a lie. I said I was thinking about us and all kinds of other happy things! Actually my tapping was always aligned to destructive negative self-talk. Mine normally went a bit like this: “You’re fat, you’re ugly, you’ve got no real friends, People don’t like you…” That kind of really wonderful stuff.
One of the first things I learnt in a coaching weekend with Joe Pane at The Coaching Institute, was self-talk and how we have all of these thoughts each day, with 95% of those thoughts are repeated the next day. I studied a little more and learnt that thoughts are the mental activity of our language and that they directly correlate with our underlying ‘model’ or ‘map’ of the world. No matter who we are, how we speak to ourselves not only reflects but affects every aspect of our life. What we tell ourselves on an ongoing basis, whether it be good or bad, right or wrong, reflects not only what we think but also how we feel and act. This can directly influence our results in life.
So from that day forward I learnt and applied a cool little NLP technique that involved placing an elastic band on my wrist (one of those big, bad-ass purple ones) and then actively noticing my self-talk. Each time I thought something bad about myself, I snapped the band and replaced the thought with a positive statement – “I am an awesome partner with lots of love to give” for example. The rubber band is a pattern breaker that gets your attention and reminds you that you are choosing a new behaviour. It acts to snap you back into the present moment, so you can consciously choose a new behaviour until that new behaviour becomes your automatic response.
This one little technique took about 2 weeks to work for me (and a whole lot of welts on my wrist) but sure enough my self-talk dramatically changed! Once my self-talk changed, I found that I was so much happier because what you focus on really is what you get! Isn’t it amazing that this one little technique helped so much?
My story however wouldn’t be complete without talking about NLP. I’m assuming if you’re reading this, then you are probably a coach or looking to be one, so my advice would be make sure you do an NLP course.
Quick NLP Overview:
Neuro – the mind and the brain and how they interact with the body.
Linguistic – Linguistics is language.
Programming is the habits of thought that lead to habits of behaviour and how to change them rapidly,effectively and for profound and lasting change.
NLP is the ultimate communication tool, making you an expert in both verbal and non-verbal language. As a result, NLP greatly enhances your ability to learn, train, manage and negotiate, making it an extraordinary resource for those in business, sales, education and therapy.
NLP shows us how to use the language of the conscious and unconscious mind to program ourselves for lasting success and happiness. It is therefore the most effective tool for personal and professional evolution.
NLP is usually used for the following four purposes:
1. Enhancing communication in personal and professional relationships.
2. In management, leadership, team building, sales, marketing and personal and relationship therapy.
3. As a tool for teachers and trainers for developing group rapport and communicating to different learning styles.
4. As a tool to help overcome dyslexia, poor memory and other learning difficulties.
During my NLP Training, I was able to completely let go of the emotions from events and people in my past that I’d allowed to limit me. I walked in a little boy and walked out a man. As I write that, I know it seems hard to fathom but all I can tell you is that process of becoming an NLP Practitioner helped me make enormous change in my own life. I got rid of drinking, drugs, and even threw away a fear of heights for good measure!
When I look at who I was and who I am now, I’m super proud to tell you that I am now married to my incredible wife Beth and am a doting and passionate dad to our two most beautiful children, Aidan and Lara. I have created an unbelievably successful coaching school where we are all committed to having fun and changing lives. Our students are the most beautiful, caring, talented and inspiring coaches.
Although I started out in coaching to change lives, becoming a coach ended up changing my own life in ways I hadn’t even thought possible. What will be your long-term coaching story?
GLEN MURDOCH BIO
Glen Murdoch is the Founder of The Life Coaching College. TLCC runs Internationally approved, classroom-based Coach Training all over Australia. Glen and his team are fully committed to changing the world one person at a time.
Mention Coaching Life when you book a Diploma in Life Coaching and receive a further 10 % off.
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